K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
