so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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