I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
