lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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