No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He kissed a someone with a penis
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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