so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
