NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I could fuck to npr.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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