Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
