he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
