Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
