The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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