If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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