I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
