Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
