the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
