His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
