A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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