Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
