And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
