Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
