Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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