The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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