okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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