So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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