I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
