It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Randomize