We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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