none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
