i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
