If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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