I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
