I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
