Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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