he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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