he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This baby is an asshole
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
