Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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