just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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