just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize