And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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