If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
