Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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