Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
