you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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