I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
