Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
