I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
