May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
