He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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