Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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