You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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