I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
