ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
