I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize