You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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