Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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