just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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