Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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