i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
