my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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