i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
